In December 2007, my Husband donated one of his kidneys to his father who were on dialysis three days a week for three years. This video was made in 2009.
He wanted to donate regardless of the childhood abuse he received by his parents since the age of 2 years old.
Knowing all the things he had told me about his childhood, I asked him before the surgery if he was sure he wanted to donate to his father. His response was simply yes, he wanted to and he would feel responsible if his father died and he knew he could have helped save his life. He then said he would never be able to face his mother knowing she would blame him if his father passed away.
I stood there and looked at this man with so much pain from his childhood, but much more love in his heart for his parents/abusers. I wanted to say no, because of my gut feeling, but I also didn’t want to interfere in what I thought would finally be a loving relationship with my husband and his parents. After seeing so much pain in him over the past 20 years at the time, I was looking forward to seeing a smile on his face.
So for a year he prepped and did tests so he could donate. During that year his parents were nice as gold. He called them every Sunday on the clock because he was so happy to be talking to them again. 2 months after the surgery, his father verbally insulted him and his parents stop talking to him. My gut feeling came back as I felt this would happen.
Through it all, my husband still stands and walks to work and back home since our truck is in shop. He lifts thousands of pounds of boxes and containers to get his job done, and has an excellent attendance record and is very dependable when it comes to him getting his job done.
Now 7 years later several health issues are at risk with him that requires immediate surgery. I’m afraid because he can’t afford to take off work because his job has no sick leave, and there is no support from his family. Today his pain is great, each one is a major concern……I just don’t know what more to do. He tells me not to ask for help, he can do it on his own, I guess that’s what I love about him, he’s strong even when he’s not.
My way of showing him that there are good people out there who do care and who think his contribution to saving a life by risking his own does matter. There is so much more, but if I continue, I would be writing a book, maybe even a movie.
I see a kind hearted man who I love to continue sharing my life with as this month March 17th is our 26th wedding anniversary. I want to see him get the help he needs to be healthy so he can continue to be a part of my life for many more years to come. I truly love him.
A worried wife